Far be it from me to beat a dead horse…

But now…

Because I’m tired my readership yearns to know even more about me…

…I humbly offer a list of Twenty-Two Things that I *Have* Done.

I’m forty years old.

And I Have:

1. Learned to play no less than seven musical instruments.  Yes, the recorder does count.

2. Learned how to appreciate fine wine.  And also how to throw back Limoncello like it’s Kool-Aid.

3. Worked up a fairly solid case of pyromania over the years, which I keep at bay by lighting copious quantities of candles around my house.

4.  Acquired and lost New Joysey, Minnesohta, and ChiKaaaago accents.  (Ummm…so maybe I’ve retained the ChiKaaaaaago.  Go Bearsssss!)

5.  Learned how to put together an ensemble that looks like a million bucks for under 40 bucks.

6.  Consumed approximately one half dozen bags of candy corn every Halloween for as long as memory serves me.

7.  Held the hand of a loved one and prayed over her as she passed from this world into the next.

8.  Carried a tray full of cocktails over my head for a living.  And also as a party trick.

9.  Fancied myself a rockstar and sung onstage in front of 100+ people.  Multiple times.  And I probably will tonight.  Will I ever learn?

10. Gone from knowing nothing about flowers to kicking arse in a perennial garden in three.  Short.  Months.

11. Gone from being a hopeless slob to a borderline OCD neat freak in the span of three.  Short.  Years.

12. Gone from being ridiculously shy to moderately gregarious in twenty.  Short.  Years.

13. Gone from being a television junkie to watching less than an hour per week in thirty.  Short.  Years.

14. Lived temporarily in two different third-world nations.

15. Learned how to forgive from the heart.  And how to seek forgiveness from the heart.

16. Learned to compensate for my lack of culinary expertise and nourish my family with the help of my trusty Crock Pot.

17. Learned how to be a wholly and completely satisfied person.  This is not to say that I am cheeky-happy every day.  This is better, friends.  This is a feeling of richness and completeness that endures, even on the days when nothing goes as it should.

18.  Developed a semi-narcissistic competitive streak that I can’t seem to shake, satisfied or not.

19. Given birth to twins, eleven minutes apart, on my 30th birthday, under the astrological sign of Gemini, the Twins.

20. Taken an enormous leap of faith and shared my writing with countless strangers.

21.  Watched two childhood friends grow up to become celebrities.

These are not the friends.  Thank goodness.

22. Been blessed with three children who astound, challenge, and make me laugh every day.  I have done nothing to deserve them but am infinitely thankful for them.